


Survivors

by canongoddess



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Humor, Sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-10
Updated: 2018-04-10
Packaged: 2019-04-21 04:45:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14277189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/canongoddess/pseuds/canongoddess
Summary: Garrus doesn't like nature in the least. He had only lived in two places: the desolate turian home world and the smooth modern precipices of the Citadel. Nature was meant to be confined to manicured parks. This is why he tried and failed to get out of Shepherd's hunting mission on a garden planet that was more ferocious jungle than park. Life is difficult for a city bird.





	Survivors

There were very few occurrences that bothered Garrus. He had lived on a planet that was shaped by radiation with people shaped by war - or more accurately fucked by war. Little could be said or seen that he found impossible to roll his eyes at or snort in derision. He tried witty comments sometimes. It was a fifty/fifty shot - not bad odds in some situations. He was cold suddenly though at the deadly woman's words as she looked him up and down. He didn't like it. If he had sweat glands, he would be sweating right now, but he didn't, so his mouth opened a bit letting air hit his reptilian tongue and maybe cool down his shocked body.

"You want to go to the surface." His eyes darted to the floating blue planet - an awful color in his opinion. Planets should be brown with just enough blue - a sprinkling of blue, if you will. No more and no less. "Liara likes water." He didn't know if this was true, but she was blue. She would be better camouflaged than he. Hell, he would only blend in if he was shot.

"Liara is doing research. She doesn't need to go hunting with me."

He didn't see any indication that the animals were even edible and pointed that out.

"For you maybe," she quipped. "That just means the food won't be eaten on the way to the ship." He opened his mouth, and she held up a hand. "Which is precisely the problem with Wrex. Krogans eat too much."

"Kaidan?" His voice was a little squeaky and a little pitiful.

She grimaced. They had had a thing, right? A little one? "No. You."

It was decided. He grouched and made surly faces that the humans barely recognized as an expression different from that of his normal face, but reality was a cruel mistress, and he was shortly airdropped in the Mako to the single continent on this beautiful floral arrangement. There were hues and shades of green that he was loathe to admit were beautiful, flowers that nodded at him mockingly, and a low rhythmic whoosh were the awful blue water ran over the sand.

Shepherd drove along the beach looking for an opening in the beach finding none, and he offered the suggestion of simply burning or shooting their way into the jungle from the relative air conditioning of the Mako. He really didn't want to hike through that mess, find god knows what, and look like a fool as his tongue slowly extended from his mouth. It was unprofessional and unsanitary - especially in this unknown environment.

Shepherd hit the brakes and drummed her fingers on the steering wheel looking every bit as inconvenienced as he felt which was at least partially comforting.

"Joker, refresh me on the animal life here. I know we're hunting large herbivorous mammals, but what else is out there? You scanned it, right?"

"So the mammals check out. They seem to look sort of like sloths - large, hairy, in the trees. That kind of thing. Of course, there are things that eat the sloths. The planet has been well documented. I'm sending you the coordinates to the heat spots I'm picking up now."

She swiped through the map moving it with her fingertips for a moment before stopping and looking at the jungle. "We can't find a path in to take the Mako. We're going to go on foot. We can handle it."

"I'll be here if you need me. Orbiting the planet."

"Thanks."

Garrus hated it when she looked at him. Her hard brown eyes winked, her red hair brushed the collar of her Kevlar suit, and her lips formed the words "We're going on foot."

The only good thing he could think as they delved into the jungle was that at least he wasn't on a boat. It was a rational fear that every good Turian parent instilled in their children who sank like rocks. His father had made certain to prove this point by dropping him in a tank once. It was a lesson that his scarred 5 year old mind had let pass from the realm of knowledge to the instantaneous land of instinct. Jungle was at least better than that nonsense.

It wasn't long before dusk began to settle. The thick foliage made the coming dark rush in much faster than it should. "Night" here was not the proper rotation of the planet, but the solar eclipse which came every 40 hours without fail and lasted for a whole eight hours. He considered that not long enough at all. Proper planets could rotate to create the night, but this place was too slow and backwards for even that. The only blessing was that the land had formed at the equator rather than the poles. Nights there would have lasted decades at the rate of this place.

Shepherd stopped, and he almost ran into her. She had come to a clearing and held her gun at the ready. Garrus took his cue and shrank back pulling his rifle above her head and scanning the trees. It helped to have the short one in the front at times. It was then that he heard it. A rustle in the leaves above brought his gaze and his scope to meet a very large mammal. It had short choppy fur and round eyes that by turian standards were unearthly creepy. Proper eyes were mere slits. He certainly didn't like seeing the whites of anyone's eyes - one more reason humans were weird. It made it a lot easier to pull the trigger. The creature didn't wail or call. It simply dropped like a stone in front of Shepherd.

"Jesus," she said angrily jumping back. "That thing nearly crushed me! Warn me next time!"

Garrus shrugged. "I didn't want it to run away."

She rolled her eyes and bent to examine the animal. A clean sizzling hole was right between its eyes. She stared at it for a moment making Garrus feel a bit uncomfortable. He shifted, and she shook her head.

"It's kind of cute."

"I think we need to reevaluate your definition of cute."

"I mean big eyes, long fur, and this sort of glasses pattern on its face... Seems cute to me."

"It must be a human thing."

"Turians just don't understand how adorable furry little animals can be - probably on account of your bug theme."

"Avian," he corrected. "Besides if you think that is little, I hope you're going to be the one butchering it."

He shouldn't have said it, but there it was. She grinned and held the knife out to him. He took it and hauled the creature out of the clearing a few feet staying in sight of the newly constructed fire and began butchering a creature that he had no hope of even eating. Fate was a cruel mistress.

Shepherd built up the fire to a moderate heat, and he shivered as the temperature dropped without the sun. The humidity and moisture in the air made him feel stiff and cold, so the fire was a welcome friend. Shepherd took a portion of the meat strips from him and began skewering them. She jabbed the ends in the dirt and let it roast. She handed him a bag of salt out of her pack, and they split the meat strips coating both sides in salt. The fire burned low, and she strung the strips over the small flames to dry. Garrus opened a can of meat and picked at it. It had been so long since he had fresh food that it was almost painful to watch the commander tear into the tough meat. Her small teeth were not as sharp as his, and she seemed to be having problems biting chunks from the main bulk. He trilled a short laugh at her. Her eyes floated up to meet his own.

"We could switch," he offered with a smile.

She made a face at him before pulling her knife out of her belt and trying to cut the meat. "I'm not eating that stuff. Besides this is fresh. I can't believe that you would complain about table manners when we are in the middle of a jungle."

"I'm not complaining," he replied leaning forward and letting a turian grin split his face. "I rather liked watching you tear into your food. Very gauche."

"You have a skewed sense of manners."

He purred a laugh. Her voice was rough, her eyes sharp, and her cheeks pink. Humans turned such marvelous colors. Often he found himself enjoying that about them. Turians didn't change based on emotion. He knew by odor and tone what a turian was feeling, but humans turned green, white, and red with abandon. In his time on the citadel, he had seen all kinds of reactions from them, and he had never tired of the myriad of colors. She burped to make a point of not being at all concerned with his thoughts on the subject, and he purred louder turning back to his meat can. They sat in silence for some time listening to the insects wailing in the jungle and chewing dutifully on their respective dinners. He was silently counting the humans on board the ship wondering how many of the odd animals he would be butchering before they could feed them all when Shepherd's comm flashed.

"Come in," Joker's voice crackled through static.

"What is it?"

"There is a ship tailing us. I can pick you up before they get here if you can get to the beach in 45 minutes."

Shepherd looked at Garrus and pressed her lips into a thin line. "We walked in. The Mako wouldn't roll through. Can you lose them?"

Joker's voice edged with tension, and Garrus could almost see the pilot with the smile on his face. "I was the best pilot in flight school. Of course, I can lose them."

"We have enough supplies for two weeks. Get rid of the ship and come back for us."

"Affirmative, Commander."

And with that Garrus had his fate sealed and an unwanted vacation in the middle of a hellhole with a thin veneer of paradise. Shepherd sighed and looked around at the jungle in a whole new way - a way Garrus had been seeing it from the start. The bugs, the humidity, and the unexplainable wildlife were far too much to deal with for two weeks without so much as an introduction. Shepherd unrolled her sleeping bag under a tarp strung between the trees, and as she was preparing to lie down a roar sounded through the trees, and everything became quiet. The insects even hushed. Leaves that were rustling suddenly were not, and all he could think was a single thought.

_Shit. I hate nature._


End file.
